small favors
by a can of tuna
Summary: Hijikata Toshiro, the warrior of love. — OkiKagu, implied HijiMitsu.
1. Earlier that day

In all his twenty something years of life, Hijikata Toushiro couldn't have been more frustrated than he was now. Stood in front of him, was the insufferable brother of _that_ person, planning on decking out of the country so he didn't have to see the girl he was_ so not in love with _get married to some asshat her biological father and douchcanoe of a brother picked out for her. What was simply baffling him the most was how the girl of all people agreed to a planned marriage, especially when it's to a man picked out by two of the most absent people in her life? Like what the actual fuck.

"Oi, Sougo, what the fuck are you doing?" he asked in the most sincerest of way, lighting the cigarette between his lips and blowing out a test puff of it. Said boy only stared back at him with his usual mask of indifference, very well guarded for a guy face rejection. Without a word, he went back to piling his clothes and other items into the compact suitcase that was beginning to overflow. Hijikata, not getting an answer out of the little shit continued smoking his cancer sticks and contemplating what correct words he could use to comfort the poor sucker.

"She isn't getting married till tommorow you know, you still have time." Snuffing out the butt in a nearby ashtray conviniently placed on Sougo's computer table, he took a seat in the chair by the door, in case the little shit did something funny. He still couldn't, even after so many years trust the guy to not jump at the opportunity to attack him or something. Sougo only stopped for a moment to glare at his 'well-wisher' over his shoulder, his crimson eyes taking on a dangerous glint before retuning back to the state of well masked boredom. "I don't know what you are talking about Hijikata, old age must be getting to you, good thing though, when you die, I am definitely inheriting the house."

Hijikata, used to the verbal jabs that ranged from odd to downright sociopathic at times, only stared blankly at the boy, as if telling him 'stop denying it, it's embarrassingly obvious.' Sougo still undeterred, folded the last of his shirts before closing the suitcase shut, he took out his iphone and checked his itinerary to some nameless city. "Oi douchebag, I am heading out, lock the door behind you or else." was the last thing he said before he disappeared to who knows where. With a scoff and a stretch, Hijikata walked over to the computer desk by the bed, the same are occupied by the sadistic kid moments ago. 'Well, he isn't a kid anymore,' he thought, 'what is he, turning twenty-four this year.' When he got to the table, his eyes took in the atmosphere of the entire room, and thought of the amounts of evolution it has gone through before his eyes landed on a faded golden frame turned sideways. Picking it up, he held it at arm's length, his eyes absorbing the picture of a pretty woman with chin length sandy blonde hair and bright cinnamon colored eyes, smiling shyly. The picture, taken years ago, he remembered because her hair got longer after that, the last time he had seen her, the last time he had seen her, it was longer.

Still very pretty, even then. Heaving a heavy sigh and making the atmosphere distasteful for himself, he placed the frame back to its original spot, grabbed his coat and made his way out the door. His thoughts would sometimes linger there, but not often, not when he kept himself occupied, but she was one of those things that always danced in between his conciousness and he remembered her often. He walked, while his mind was in a trance, reliving the glory days of his life in the police force, it was one of the best moments in his prime, but after a while he had given it up to do something more laid back; in his moments of unsmartness, and trust him, there has been many in his life and many more to come, he decided to become a small time detective.

Now such a profession as many people know was anything but laid back, but what did stupid old Hijikata know, well nothing. But as things go from bad to worse, they also go back to being good because, the year he left the force, was also the year his boss, joined him in his small time detective firm and they even hired an errand boy who sometimes double times as an information collector, the word sometimes being used very loosely.

After, he had arrived home, the only highlight to his day was the Lo Mein he ate (with extra mayonnaise) and watching some boring ass shit on tv before knowing out on his couch, he never did make it to the bed anymore, it wasn't like there was anything there anyways. Wallowing in self-pity and thoughts of what would happen Hijikata saw a condensed nightmarish version of the world without mayonnaise as a dream before he was awoken with the ringing of the doorbell.

Ring, Ring

He twitched a little, his eyes straining to open, he gave up seconds later, mentally willing the person to go away.

Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring.

Sitting up and cracking his eyes open, not before muttering a few curse words and super charging his anger before he opened the door and yelled at the fuckface that showed up at, he checked the digital clock on his wall; 9:30, wait, what the hell, oh whatever, he was really tired so his anger was justified.

He opened the door quickly, ready to yell, only having become stumped at the person standing on the other side. Crimson hair and blue eyes, her lips frowning slightly while her eyebrows knitted together, her expression betraying her inner thoughts as she stared right at the man in front of her.

"Hey mayora." her right hand rose up from the pocket of her red coat in a way of greeting, teeth gnawing away at her lower lips, "Can I come in?"

Stood in front of him, the very love interest of his asshole brother-in-law. The one getting married. Tomorrow. He nodded slowly and moved away from the door to let her in before closing the door again.

She turned on the big lamp of the living room and sat on the black couch he was laying on before, her eyes shifting from one area to another, probably taking in the living room she hadn't been in for years. Hijikata followed behind her and into the kitchen, the least he could do was prepare some tea because he could tell by the way she was acting, it's going to be a long night.

* * *

_AN: Yeah I am back, um once again, choppy writing, but I am going to get better, woo!_


	2. (Not So) Late Night

Now just to clarify a few things about Hijikata, he was one of the most sincerely awkward people to have ever graced the world. He was horrible at making small talk and his social life was less than thriving. With that said, he did have his moments of profound advice giving, however unfortunate that it is, tonight was not going to be one of them.

He set the two identical black mugs down, steam wafting from both cups. "Sorry, I am out of tea, how..how do you want the coffee?" he asked. Kagura quirked her eyebrow at him, her expression one of utter confusion. "Why are you being so polite mayora, you know I hate that." Regardless, she poured half the cream in the cup on the tray and shoveled in massive teaspoons full of sugar into her coffee, turning the rich black substance to a creamy beige as she stirred.

Hijikata lowered his cup after taking a sip, not knowing how to go about this, it was pretty obvious what she was here for. Wasn't it? He wondered of what to say, and if he was even gauging the situation correctly, what if she wasn't here to talk about Sougo and whatever messed up shit they have gotten into now, what if she just came by to visit him. Looking at the girl quickly and looking away just as quickly, 'Fat chance.' Kagura was not one of those formal type people, he knows, he has known her for years.

"So how have you been?" she asked, after she set down her spoon. "I just got back last week you know, Papi and aniki are over at my house, and I just really, really need to get away from them." she chortled, her voice breaking a little. Hijikata reached for his mug only to withdraw his hand at the last second, "They are here already?" he asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah, the weddings tomorrow, sheesh mayora, you are getting old, you are as bad as Gin-chan!" She placed her cup back on the table and looked around the house, obviously remembering it from childhood, when she did come over to play with Sougo. He nearly snorted as he remembered the time he caught the two of them _playing_ in high school, a game completely different then what they did in childhood. It was one of those desperate moments in when he really missed Mitsuba.

"Oh yeah, sorry, its been a long day." he said, silenced by his own thoughts. She sat perfectly poised, and he sipped his coffee in awkward silence. Until he decided to break it, "What are you doing?"

"Well I have been working in this telecommunication firm in Shibuya, its kind of boring but the money is good and the job is really easy, plus I don't have to depend on Gin-chan that much anymore so that's a relief." she answered with a smile. "No I meant, why are you marrying that guy, do you even know him?" he asked, his voice more brusque than he intended it to be.

Kagura's expression hardened, clearly not here to discuss anything like this. "Mayora! I didn't expect you to ask me this at least." Hijikata set his cup down, determined to not pick it up again or fidget around the situation, 'god damn kids these days.' he thought, really a lot more troublesome than when he was one, which was a loooooong time ago. "China, he began, a childhood relic of sorts, it began one day when she was little and spoke in her native accent, of course that accent had long since dissipated. Have you thought that maybe, whatever you had a fight about, really doesn't matter and that you two should forget about it and begin anew?" the suggestion sounded stiff and awkward even to his own ears but he couldn't reel those words back in now.

"Hell no!" she screamed, he raised both his hands in a defensive posture before putting a finger to his lips indicating for her to be quiet. "No, I won't be quiet!" she screamed again and got up from her seat, "He thinks he can say whatever the hell he wants and I am gonna be okay with it? Hell no I won't, in my life I had never known anyone more difficult and frustrating, it's his fault that I am doing this! His fault that I even agreed to it." she finished, her eye welling up with unshed tears. "So you are doing this to teach him a lesson?" Hijikata asked incredulously. Kagura didn't respond only looking away, and that's when Hijikata realized he had caught her. "That's really fucking stupid, you are gonna ruin your life because Sougo's an asshat, which should be common knowledge to everyone by now." He got up and paced around, while Kagura stood in silence.

"Look, I am not telling you should forgive him, for whatever the hell he did now," he paused to take a large inhale of breath, the years of smoking catching up to him. "But you shouldn't ruin your life for it by marrying someone you don't even know, let alone like." Kagura stared at him like this was one of the things she didn't want to hear, "I wish he were different," she said her voice just above a whisper, "if he wasn't such a dick then we wouldn't have fights like this." Hijikata was quite frustrated with the situation because both parties were stubborn as hell, he opened a drawer in the desk he was standing next to and took out a cigarette from the carton and lit it, taking in an inhale, he released the smoke into the open air and gazed with glazed eyes at the smoke wafting through the air, "if he was different, then you wouldn't love him."

The room felt heavier and lighter with those words said, like some inevitable unanimous decision was taken. Like some, fucked up truth was realized and it was a rather plain truth. Plain enough to see for anybody who had known the two of them, and Hijikata knew them both damn well, they used to screw around in his guest room, and he let them date in secret when all else said no to their open relationship. It was a situation he never saw himself in, helping these two shit stains get together that is, but that's the nature of life, you will go to places you never thought you would go to.

He looked at the girl's sitting figure on his couch, she was contemplating something and he was pretty sure what it was, but he said what he needed to, and he knows that it would get through to her through the night, and she will make the right call tomorrow because out of the two of them, Kagura, surprisingly was the smarter one. He grabbed the keys on the coffee table and looked at her, "come on, I'll drive you home."

* * *

After driving the uncharacteristically quiet girl home, he received a phone call from a very familiar number, because he was driving he couldn't pick it up but he pulled over just in time to see it flash the voicemail sign. Connecting it to voicemail, he received information he wasn't very surprised with.

Sighing, he drove all the way to the police station and walked in. The officers, some of them familiar and others not, stood by until he got to the officer by the side and who he knew for a while, with a deep inhale, he grit out, "where is he?" Itou Kamotarou looked up from his file and got up wordlessly and took Hijikata to the prison cells. He arrived in front of the one in which a very drunk Okita Sougo sat, slumping slightly.

And at that moment, Hijikata wondered which would be better homicide or suicide.

* * *

_AN: This was more Kagura and Hijikata centric, I just wanted to highlight the AU-ness of their relationship. I personally think their little spats, as few as in canon, are really adorable. Thank you for reading, if it's not too much trouble then can you please leave a review? _

_Thanks again!_


	3. Midnight Madness and Morning Massacre

The world was an endless river of shit, current flowing right in his face when he was trying to swim backwards. In all his years of single _parenting, _he has never been more annoyed with Okita Sougo then he was today. Sure the guy was an unreasonable twat, but recently he was more insufferable than usual, engaging in behavior he hadn't expected or anticipated. Okay that was a lie, he expected Sougo to turn out worse but he turned out outwardly decent for the most part.

He watched the flaxen haired boy, _man_, he corrected himself, slump forward on the floor he was seated on. The entire are devoid of noise aside from the whirring of a small ceiling fan and the labored breathing of the guy in the cell. His gaze wordlessly turned to Itou, who only looked back at him expressionless. "What'd he do?" he managed to ask through his misery. Itou's face broke out into a sneer before he said, "bar fight, broken the noses of some big guys and caused property damage." Hijikata let out a sigh he had been holding back, his hands patting down the pocket of his coat for a cigarette and a lighter, not finding anything, he temporarily gave up on the pursuit of smoking.

"What's it gonna take to have the dumbass released?" he asked with a glare in Itou's direction, who raised his eye brows thinking of something insidious no doubt, Itou Kamotarou has always been a piece of shit, ever since their time at the police academy. "He doesn't get bail until tomorrow morning."

"It's already morning dumbass." Hijikata said through gritted teeth, pointing to the sleek black watch on his wrist. Unpetrubed by the sudden insult, Itou only looked on in thinly veiled annoyance, "I meant nine hours from now, I am heading home anyways." Before he could turn around to walk away, Hijikata slapped a hand on his shoulder stopping him from making any movements whatsoever. "He needs to be out now, it'll be too late tomorrow morning." Itou looked over his shoulder with a glare, "why the hell should I care?"

"You don't, obviously, but I..." he hesitated, feeling a blow to his nonchalant character, "I do."

Itou turned around fully with both his eyebrows raised on that ugly flat forehead of his. "My, my Hijikata Toushiro has a heart too, who would have known..." he trailed off, causing anger to simmer in Hijikata. "Yeah, yeah, just tell me how much I gotta pay, and get the kid out." he bit out, turning away from the asshole in front of him.

"Sorry, Hijikata but what I said stands, come back in nine hours or later, you can pick up Okita-kun." Hijikata felt his patience thinning for the upteenth time that day. Heaving a large sigh, he planned on using the emotional blackmailing route but this was Itou he was talking about, the heartless bastard had the emotionally stability of a sea cucumber. Damn even his own personal jokes were falling through tonight.

"Look, we have known each other for a while, and you should know how many times I saved your ass during our academy days, you should let this one thing off the hook this time around." Itou pursed his thin lips and looked to the comatose boy in the cell and back at Hjikata, not that they were friends or anything, but he was running the precinct now that both he and Kondou were doing their own thing.

_But they helped you , didn't they?_ Rang a treacherous voice inside his head, begrudgingly admitting to himself that the confrontation he had with a group of terrorists in central Tokyo, had only bee neutralized by Kondou and Hijikata. Had they not been there he would have been dead, deader than how they found him. He already made up his mind to help the sucker, but it didn't mean he was gonna do it with a smile on his face.

"You brother-in-law is a menace." he said with a sigh and gestured Hijikata to follow him.

"I already fucking know that." Hijikata muttered under his breath and followed Itou back to his desk to take care of the formalities that needed to be fulfilled.

The car ride back to his home was a quiet one, with Sougo looking out the window in his gloomy daze and Hijikata straining to keep his eyes open to at least get them home in one piece. They arrived a good fifteen minutes to two in the morning, getting out of the car, he dragged the struggling younger man out of his car and into his home, not before checking the surrounding area for people. _This probably looks so wrong from another prespective_, he thought disgustedly.

Entering the house and placing the keys on his coffee table, he pushed Sougo off of his person and onto the couch. "What the fuck..." Sougo muttered, holding his head in his hands and glaring at the older man lighting a cigarette. "Go make yourself a cup of coffee, I already did it once when your girlfriends dropped by." he said calmly, puffing out smoke. Sougo straightened a bit, his face contorting to confusion, "she came here, why?"

Hijikata leveled him with a deadpanned look, "why do you think?"

"How the hell should I know?" he said, looking away.

"Stop! Enough! I have had it with all the dramatic looking away and sighing. I have dealt with this shit long enough today, If you are old enough to fuck, you are old enough to know how to fucking say sorry and make up again."

Sougo got up from his seat, "you are taking her side again?" his expressionless mask cracking to show the puffed cheeks of a five-year old.

"I am not taking anyone's side," he said calmly, "Cause you are both stupid and annoying." He wordlessly went into the kitchen, coming back a few minutes later with a mug full of steaming black coffee, "Drink this shit, and go upstairs and fall the fuck asleep, We'll talk more in a few hours." He said the last part with a grimace, before he climbed the stairs and walked into his room, slamming the door shut.

Leaving Sougo alone with his thoughts.

What did they fight over again, he couldn't even remember, his mind buzzing and his eyes hazy as he watched the smoke raise from the cup into the open air. It's not like he wants to be this way, which is a total lie because everybody who knows him knows that he has been a little shit for a long time.

He took his phone out of his jeans pocket and scrolled his contacts list down to 'K.'

Now the only thing keeping him from calling her was a small green button and his own pride. He knows she would be madder if he hints let alone admits to not remembering what they were fighting about. It had something to do with her family, he was sure, it always was, not Danna of course, the baldy and his shitty son.

With twitching fingers, he jabbed at the green button, connecting a call to her, whatever she might not even pick up, he thought. Except that she did.

"..."

"H-hey." Fuck, his voice cracked.

Another pause and he felt her breathe deeply, "Hi." she said with an edge to her voice.

Sougo looked around the room, for a topic of conversation but finding nothing of comfort, he only proceeded to hold the phone in silence.

"Is there something you want to say to me?" she asked, he could hear the thinly veiled smug tone.

"Eat shit, china." he said hanging up.

Oh no, it took a few seconds to process, what did he just do? Redialing the number again, it went straight to voicemail. Panicking, he kept dialing, until it got to her on the fifth try.

"What?! What happened now?" he put a distance between his ear and the phone.

"Shut up!" he barked "damn bitch, you and your fucking tonsils." he muttered. He could almost see the glare she was giving him through the phone. Undeterred, he continued, "I want to talk..to you," he paused, searching for the right words. "Can you come by?"

"Who is the girl here, you or me?"

"Well that depends," he said not missing a beat. "Fuck you, sadist." she said through gritted teeth, "I am hanging up."

At her threat, "No wait! Fine, I'll come, but it might take me a while, cause I am drunk."

"Oh poor you," she said in a mocking voice, _damn bitch_, he thought. "Where are you?" he asked, after a pause. "Papi's guest house." she said with a sigh.

"Oh." another choppy pause, he was glad because it was either angry silent treatment or aforementioned screaming with them both and since the hour was so ungodly and he was buzzed, the silence was better. "Come over." he said, but it came out as more of a plea.

"I can't." She said, her fingers twirling away at her hair, "Kamui-nii is right next door."

"Who the fuck cares, just run out." he said with a scowl.

She stopped twirling her hair, " Its not that easy." and the silence settles in between them again. "You have changed." He says suddenly. "So have you." She said bitterly.

"So this is it then? You are gonna get married to some asshat because you are mad at me."

"You think I am doing this because of you?" She asks angrily.

"Yes, everyone knows that." He says arrogantly.

"Fuck you sadist." she all but screams into the phone. "Yeah well not anymore probably, ask your new husband how he feels about sloppy seconds." She hangs up on him and he realizes what an asshole thing the last thing was to say.

Hijikata limps down the stair a few minutes later and sighs, Sougo looks at him from his spot and looks away at the tiny slivers of light outside. The coffee finally coming to his attention, he holds it up by the handle and brings it to his lips as he watches him sit down on the seat opposite the couch he was sitting on.

The coffee was cold. "It's cold." Sougo says emphatically.

Hijikata didn't know whether he was talking about the coffee or the situation. "Warm it up then." Sougo only shrugs and takes a sip anyway. "She hates me."

"She should, you are an asshole, and the last thing you said was uncalled for."

Sougo looks at him with narrowed eyes, "You were listening?" he hisses. Hijikata glares at him, "You weren't exactly being quiet, asshole." Sougo scoffs and takes another sip before giving up and putting the coffee on the table. The two of them sit in unsettling silence, doing nothing.

"I need to talk to her." Sougo says, getting up from his sit, "give me your car." Hijikata also raises from his seat, "Fuck no! You already caused property damage, I am not letting you take my car out. He takes the keys from the table and puts on his coat for the umpteenth time ad gestures for him to follow.

They set out on an adventure to the small town house on a cozy side of the city, it was blessing that the places wasn't located in a gated community. The two of them arrive two blocks from her house, while Hijikata is parking the car, Sougo walks behind the guest house and climbs the fence, putting him directly in her backyard.

He walks past the rosebushes and assorted flower pots and to the sliding doors that would lead him to her kitchen. Only for it to be locked. Of course, it was night time and they were sleeping, but Sougo was a little drunk after all. He walked away again, and looked up at the second story, it was hard to tell which window was hers, and especially difficult because he had only come to the house once. I was much easier to maneuver around danna's house, because even when he did climb the wrong window to the twin's rooms, one of them usually sneak him to Kagura's.

Sweet kids, takes after their mom no doubt, because he was sure, Kagura's guardian would have sliced his balls open if he found out he was doing the dirty with his daughter. Not that he doesn't know already, but somethings are always better left unsaid.

While he was thinking about the golden days, he hadn't realized that Hijikata had come up behind him. "Shit! What are you doing?" he almost screams, Hijikata looks at him annoyed, "Why are you here?"

Sougo gives him a look of disbelief, "You want me to go to the front and ring her doorbell, dipshit?" Hijikata ignored the insult and said, "Whatever, how are you gonna get up there?"

"Hell if I knew.." he muttered, Hijikata looked at the pipes leading up from the sides of the house. "Wait, wait," he said, "I have an idea." He walked towards the pipes and jabbed them a couple of times to see their stability and turned back to Sougo, "It's kinda old school thought."

Sougo snorted, "Climb the pipe?"

Hijikata only nodded, Sougo thought for a minute but later agreed on it, 'let's do it."

The climbing wasn't the hard part, what was hard however was keeping himself up. "Stay still." Sougo said in his dead panned voice. "How the fuck am I gonna stay still with your shows digging onto my shoulders you asshole?!" Hijikata shot angrily.

"This was your idea, Hijikata." Sougo reminded. Hijikata only shot him a glare, "Which one is her window?"

"I don't know, I think its the one on the right?" He thought out loud, Hijikata strained himself to look up, while Sougo looked up contemplatively, "Hmmmmm..."

"Get off, get off." Hijikata said agitatedly, pushing the younger man of his shoulder. Sougo got off and stood beside him, still looking up, "You know there is one thing I don't get."

Hijikata massaged his shoulders and tilted his head, "Shouldn't they have a security system?" Sougo asked.

"Who the hell cares, just get the girl and run." Hijikata said and gestured up to the lit room to the right, "Maybe that's her room."Sougo looked up at the lit window and pursed his lips.

The balcony doors slide open abruptly and Sougo almost jumped, while Hijikata backed up, preparing to run without him if needed be. Out stepped, Kagura, dressed in her red winter coat from earlier in the evening.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" She hissed. Sougo gathered his bearings and Hijikata stayed in his spot, because he might need to run when possible, he was sure Kagura's father would spare her but he could do whatever he wants with Sougo.

"I was trying to get to you." Sougo blurted out. Kagura's eyes softened slightly before going back to the way they were. "Why?" She asked, like the little shit that she was.

Sougo was about to reply when Hijikata groaned and said, "Look, you love him," pointing to Sougo, "And you love her." pointing to Kagura. "It's been common knowledge for years now, can we please get going before your monstrous father and brother show up?" he pleaded.

Kagura and Sougo, did the one thing he never saw them do, obey what he said. They followed him to his car and he sped away like hell was on his heels. Arriving home shortly after, he didn't even bother throwing his coat on the rack or his keys on the table, he dragged his body up the stairs and into his bedroom, leaving Kagura and Sougo to their devices downstairs, _whatever, it was best to let them work out their problems. _He thought as he dozed off.

Only to be woken up half an hour later with the Kagura's blue eyes twinkling in the dark and Sougo smiling menacingly down at him. Hijikata jumped back,_ not even safe in my own bedroom, when will this end?_ He thought miserably. He got up and walked to the mirror to see a penis drawn on his left and right cheeks, he glared at the two snickering adults as he walked into the bathroom to wash the blasphemous drawings of his cheek. Fearing that the mark would still be there, he rubbed his face with soap and washing it off rapidly with water. He walked back and wiped it with his towel and turned back to the two assholes. "What. The. Fuck. do. You. Want. Now?" he asked, his voice a deathly calm, "Don't you two ever sleep?" he almost screamed, but stopped short when he remembered it was still very early.

Kagura and Sougo looked at each other, Sougo gestured something to her with a tilt of his head and Kagura nodded, "We want to elope!" She said with a smile.

It was then that Hijikata did scream.

* * *

_AN: Thanks for all the love and support, you guys it means a lot to me. _

_FF user Forever Yorozuya: This story is centered around Okita and Kagura, who have been in a relationship for a while, but always break up, because of one fight or another._


	4. Afternoon Surprise

_So thank you everyone for all the support, it means a lot, and I am having a lot of fun writing this story. Once again, I would like to confirm that this is strictly AU so a lot of things are different, I am taking full advantage of my creative license. But please if you have any questions or comments, leave them as a review and I will get back to you._

* * *

After the miniature mental breakdown Hijikata experienced, he sat back down and drew a cigarette to his lips from his pants pocket and lit it carefully, his mind somewhere far away. Kagura stared at him expectantly, while Sougo played with her hair, the open affection making him sick to his stomach.

"So what now?" He asked, while dipping the cigarette in the ashtray, to rid it of the dropping ash.

"What are you deaf? Now we elope." Sougo said with a scoff. Hijikata glared at him and snuffed the cigarette on the ashtray. "I know that jackass, but where the hell are you gonna go?"

Kagura's eyes lit up as she took her cranberry red smart phone from her coat pocket and pulled up an article. She handed her phone to Hijikata and sat back.

Gripping the phone in his right hand, he squinted to read the small letters on the phone. "It's a small village in Nagano, they do traditional weddings and stuff, it's not that far, like three hours." Kagura said, the merriment obvious in her voice.

Hijikata handed the phone back to her and she placed it back in her pocket, with a sigh he got up and stretched, "Fine, but you are driving." He told Sougo, with a glare.

"Can't, remember, I'm drunk." He said smugly, absolutely thriving from the torture Hijikata was going through.

"Guess you ain't eloping then." He said with an evil tilt to his lips. Two can play at that game. He grabbed the coat from his bedside chair and his wallet from the table next to it. As he exited the room, the other two followed behind him closely, all the way to where the car was parked. Yawning, he got in the drivers side and started it up.

Sougo got on in the passenger's side whilst Kagura went to sit in the back, situating herself in the middle to get comfortable. "It's densely populated and really nice, Soyo-chan told me so." Kagura said as she flipped through something on her phone.

"Let's just hope your dad and brother doesn't find you missing before morning." Hijikata muttered under his breath. Before he started the car, he took out his own phone and sent a personal text of his own, pausing he asked Kagura for the exact address.

"There isn't any exact address, it's called Otari though, why?" Hijikata only shook his head and sent the text anyways. He breathed a small sigh preparing for the long road ahead.

They drove through a lot of natural sights and rest stops, switching drivers once they were in Saitama. Sougo, who was 'drunk' before was now driving the car, Hijikata switched places with a well caffeinated Kagura who sat at the passengers seat while he dozed off in the back.

The smooth road and the heat of the car making it easier to fall asleep. His last thoughts dwelled on how the hell he was going to make this work and why he had even agreed to it in the first place. He could have just said no and kicked them out in the cold morning, but somehow didn't. And now he was in a huge mess, which was going to go the shit to hell once day set in properly.

The small hushed voices added as background music lulling him to a dream-like half sleep state, it took him back to a couple of years into the past when he almost pulled a stunt like this with a girl whose parents just didn't think he was right for their daughter. And they were right, he wasn't, but in a clichéd sense of self entitlement, he showed up to her house one night with nothing but a black bag and he hurriedly told her to pack her own before whisking her away from her life.

It was a long winded story, and of course hearts got broken and people died, as is usual with situations like this, but he could admit it to himself now that everything was worth it in the end, because they at least had a few precious years together, and those memories were reminder enough for him. He awoke when the car jolted to a break and the unforgiving sunlight streamed straight on his pale face.

Cracking one icy blue eye open, he glared at the driver who only looked on innocently, he got up from his laying position and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "We are here." Kagura chimed, smiling at him. His expression automatically softening, maybe it was worth something.

He looked around the mountainous region with sleepy eyes, the surrounding trees acting as a nice back drop to it and the morning sun burned bright in the sky as they got out of the car. Hijikata stretched his joints and looked around the small clearing they were in, the place was a far cry from the city he had grown accustomed to. Such a rural setting, he hadn't seen since he was a kid.

They spent the rest of the morning searching for a place to stay and for a priest to perform the marriage ritual, it wasn't exactly easy considering the amount of time they had on their hands, but the people were nice. By the afternoon, they had rented themselves a small house, previously belonging to an eccentric couple who lived abroad, it was placed in a base of the mountains, just a little outside of town and well, it was cheap.

Hijikata walked through the engawa with cigarette clenched between his teeth and his phone in his hand. So far, no one had contacted him, he didn't know whether it was a good thing or not. On one hand, it was probably because no one suspected him of helping the two idiots, but on the other it could be that no one really cared. Putting his phone away in his pocket, he walked in the small furnished living room and saw the young couple already seated in the chabudai with open takeout packets.

Kagura gestured him over and moved to make some room, surprising him. The girl's first love was food, she forgets whatever little manners she has when she is around it, so her being this considerate was definitely disturbing, so much, that even Sougo openly gaped a little.

She was obviously enjoying the elopement idea more than anyone else in the room.

Pressing the butt of the cigarette on a small ashtray he brought from his car, he took a container of food for himself, earning a glare from Sougo. "What?" he asked boredly. Sougo said nothing, probably bidding his time for revenge before turning back to his own container.

"I can't find anyone who can do the ceremony." Kagura said frustratedly, placing her phone on the tables surface and digging at her food with the chopstick. "maybe we came in off season." She grumbled after shoving some of the fried fish into her mouth.

"We are eloping, it doesn't need a season." Sougo said, looking at her with an annoyed expression. The tension of marriage was already getting to them. Hijikata snorted and dug away at his own food.

"I know what we can do!" Kagura said looking up excitedly from her food. "Maybe we can just do the ceremony here and do all the legal stuff once everything calms down." She looked expectantly from Hijikata to Sougo. "Isn't that what you were planning from the beginning?" Hijikata asked with a confused expression.

"Well no, I was hoping we could do the legal and traditional ceremony together, but it looks like that won't be happening, but I don't care, the legal thing can wait." She said, throwing her empty container back in the plastic bag on the side.

Sougo nodded, and looked to Hijikata, "So prepare the stuff."

He narrowed his eyes and threw his own container in the bag before turning back and openly glaring at him. "Why should I? You are the one getting married."

"Yeah but you brought us here, and you are the legal guardian here, we are just misguided kids compared to you."

"Don't act so innocent, you piece of shit!" Hijikata snapped, getting up to pace on the engawa, how was he going to make this work, he didn't know anybody here or anything about organizing a marriage. Grumbling to himself and massaging his temples, he took his phone out again, hoping google would help.

It only provided more confusion. His own wedding wasn't this complicated, they just left to city hall, signed a few papers and left to the countryside until her family calmed down a little. Now that he thought about it, things would have turned out more smoothly if he didn't heed to his idiot not best friend's idea, the moron always got him in more trouble than he needed. Like now.

Except the trouble cam in the form of said moron's god-daughter, who was marrying his undeserving brother-in-law.

There was a soft rapping on the paper doors leading outside. Hijikata put his phone back in his pocket and walked over, asking who it was, after getting no response aside from a few hushed whispers and a girlish giggle, he rolled his eyes and walked away, probably one of the towns people, but why were they here.

Walking back, he prepared himself, in case it was robbers or some dumbass trying to break in, he slid the door open with force that left the frame shaking. He was only met with the dead fish eyes of an asshole he knew all too well.

The "father" of the bride had arrived.

Trailing his eyes to the three people in the back, a pretty blonde woman, and two kids, a boy and girl who took too much after each respective parents, waved halfheartedly at the dark-haired man at the door.

Well, fuck.

* * *

_AN: Yeah I kinda left it hanging here a little for obvious reasons, prepare for some GinHiji bromance in the next chapter and Kagura being super cute. _

_Did y'all really think i wasn't gonna include Gintsu?_


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